On The Road, Pt 3

Before I write about our trip home I want to write about my own little epiphany.  It occurred on this trip and I've been pondering it ever since. Some of what I'm about to write will be repeats of things I wrote in parts 1 & 2 but there were parts of the trip that helped me come to this epiphany and should be written down to explain how it happened.

On the Wednesday after Christmas Bob and I went to the beach.  We drove on a regular highway instead of taking the faster interstate.  Did you know that most of Northern Florida is national forest?  The highway we took passed us through the Ocala National Forest.  There were trails and camping and lakes and even BEARS! It's true.  All along the highway there are signs for bear crossing.  Who knew?  Had I not been yearning for the sea, I would have stopped at one of the many park entrances to do some exploring since it was all very beautiful. This, however, is NOT my epiphany.

When we got to the beach Bob thought he would be able to drive his wheelchair on the sand because cars and bikes were driving on the sand.  He was wrong. This meant that while I could enjoy a lovely day walking along the water, Bob would be left alone and on his own. THIS was part one of my epiphany. 

Somehow we made this work when we drove to the boardwalk part of the beach.  We were still split up but Bob could at least enjoy the ocean while driving down the boardwalk while I was out exploring the surf and sand. Later, I found a nice bench in the sun facing the surf where I could read a book while Bob sat next to me sunning himself like a lizard on a rock. THIS was part two of my epiphany.

We left the beach and turned the van towards home. Well, actually towards our hotel but that WAS our home for the week. We were hungry but we didn't want to eat fast food and we didn't want to eat at any old chain we could partake of at home.  We found the Blackwater Inn sitting on the beautiful St. John's River in Astor. It looked like one of the supper clubs I'd remembered visiting with my folks in the 70's complete with cellophane wrapped breadsticks.  Bob and I both ordered the catfish.  He ordered the special and I ordered the cajun. I also ordered the authentic Key Lime Pie to go.  We sat at a table that directly overlooked the river. The sun set.  The moon rose. Boats went by.  It was lovely. We ate a leisurely dinner with no thought to the time.  The only place we were headed was back to the hotel so why shouldn't we just make time to enjoy our dinner. THIS was part three of my epiphany.

The epiphany was this; Our vacation was more enjoyable (seemingly so) because it was just us.  We don't have kids. We don't have kids to worry about. No baby feeding/sleeping/changing schedule to follow. No kids whining for us to buy them stuff at every truck stop and gas station along the way. No cries of "we're bored" or "when are we going to get there?"  No stopping at Mickey D's because that's all the kids will eat. No dealing with a lack of sleep because our kids were early risers or bad traveling sleepers. No leaving places early because we had to get the kids to bed.  Our whole vacation was OURS to plan as we saw fit even if that meant just rolling with it and doing things on the fly because that's what we wanted to do. We slept when we wanted, we ate what we wanted, we left when we wanted, we took as long or as short a time in certain places just because we wanted to.   At the beach I could sit on a bench and read a book while Bob sunned himself because we didn't have kids to entertain.  Also, if we'd had kids, they would have had to choose who they wanted to be with because Bob couldn't be on the sand by the waves.  If the kids had wanted to play in the sand and surf, I would have had to be with them there while Bob watched from the boardwalk.  And how fun would that be?

Finally, Bob's care is getting more demanding. When we travel, he needs his own bed due to his sleeping difficulties. That means any kids would have had to have slept with me or on a roll-away.  Also, I realized that Bob's care demands a lot from me.  Not as much as it could, but rather than the 2 of us splitting the care of a child/children, I now see realistically it would be me caring for Bob AND the kid(s).  That would mean a lot more work for me.  We already travel heavy on the equipment without having to add car seats, diaper bags, and all the other stuff kids add to your arsenal of equipment. And I'm the one that packs and hauls it all. Bob would be a great father in that he's present and positive and could be great at entertaining a kid and backing me up but he would not be helpful in actual child wrangling.

So I was kind of floored by all of this but I was actually in a place to mull it over and accept it. Not that there isn't still a sore, hurting place there but it's definitely getting better. Even now that we are home I realize that not having kids can be kind of nice sometimes. SOMETIMES. And all of this isn't to say that should there be a miracle child in our future we won't do our damnedest to make it work somehow.  But this trip helped me take another step towards acceptance of the family we are. It's just me, Bob, and our 4 cats (who are NOT our fur babies.  They are pets, animals, cats.  Granted we love and care for them but we house no illusions about their place in our home and hearts) and on this trip it was just me and Bob.And for this trip, this Christmas holiday, and yes, even for today; that's OK. 

On The Road, Pt 2

We stayed with my parents at their house our first 2 nights in Florida. It was nice being there with them and we enjoyed spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day there with them. My brother and his family came later and rather than add to the congestion of 6 houseguests, Bob and I had decided to stay in a nearby hotel for a week. It was not fully apparent to me until we moved to the hotel that "nearby" could be a relative term but it was a good decision.  We originally were just going to stay in the hotel from Saturday to Saturday and move back to my folks' house after my brother's family left, but we were offered a great deal for 2 extra nights so we just ended up staying there the rest of our visit. Sure it was about 30 miles away but it did give us a place of our own to chill and hang out. Bob liked that he could just stay there if he wasn't feeling well and yet wasn't so far away that I was out of touch if I went to hang with the fam.

While we were visiting, we were a tad disheartened to see the long range weather forecast did not include the warm, sunny weather we were hoping for when we planned our trip.  The warmest day ended up being the day we arrived.  It was 80 degrees on Christmas Eve and I wore sandals and clam diggers to church that night.  It never got above 72 or 73 the rest of the week and the wind certainly added an extra chill to the 60 degree days we were able to enjoy.  The best day was the day we all decided to hit the beach.  I'd told my folks ahead of time that a visit to the peninsula state was not an option without a visit to an ocean for me. Looking at the weather and discussing our options, we agreed Wednesday would be the best beach day. It was supposed to be sunny and over 70.  Bob and I made the trek to Daytona Beach while my brother and his family had decided to hit the Gulf Coast and check out Clearwater or Ft. Lauderdale. Having an empty house, my parents decided to head to Cocoa Beach.  Bob and I ALMOST headed to Cocoa Beach because we love their pier so much and my brother and his family did end up there due to a wrong turn on the parkway.  It could have been a beach family reunion but it wasn't to be. I so enjoyed my time at the beach. All I really did was take pictures and then sit and read a book to the tune of the crashing waves.  I wish I could bring that back to my beloved landlocked MN! The only fly in the ointment is Bob's inability to get on the sand. He enjoyed the Daytona boardwalk but their pier was closed for repairs so he wasn't able to really get out over the water at all. He really wanted to walk on the beach while holding my hand but settled for sunning himself next to me while I read. He's flexible like that.  :-)

It was plainly obvious who the tourists were while we enjoyed the beach.  The tourists were the folks wearing shorts, T-shirts, and swimsuits. The locals were the ones bundled up in sweats, jackets, and parkas against the wind off the coast. One gal was so incensed she proclaimed the tourists crazy to the friend she was talking to on her cell. Little did she realize that the tourists probably came from states with temps in the -teens and a chilly 70 was a blessing indeed.

On our way back to the hotel, we decided we were hungry but didn't want to eat fast food or at a national chain.  We had hoped to find something in Daytona but drove through without finding anything that sounded good.  About half-way back to the hotel, we passed a place that looked fun and were rewarded with a lovely view, great food, and a fun atmosphere. The Blackwater Inn in Astor was a great place to stop and eat. It sits right on the river and offers a view of the river next to the drawbridge. The atmosphere is similar to the supperclubs of the 70's with the prepackaged breadsticks and salad bar featuring several lovely noodle and veggie salads. Bob and I both had the catfish.  He chose the regular and I chose the cajun and we both thought it delicious. Boats pulled up to the dock while we ate and the dining room filled with folks looking for good food done right and they found it at the Blackwater Inn.

The rest of the week went quickly.  My folks showed us around their new home and their new town. We were able to play pickleball, shuffleboard, and swim in the local pool.  We enjoyed live music and a movie.  My brother and his boys went golfing with my dad and saw 2 alligators on the green. We were able to see what my parents saw when they chose this place in which to retire. Bob and I both wished we lived there now even though we knew no one under 55 could purchase a home there.  It was truly very hard to leave and if the weather had cooperated, we may still be there but cooler temps and declining funds pushed us home.

On the way back, we decided to go a different route home.  Since Bob hasn't seen much outside the Midwest we decided to go home via the gulf coast. That's a story for Pt. 3.

On The Road, Pt 1

We drove to Florida for the Christmas/New Year holiday. Actually, I drove.  I drove 3 days down and all but the last 200 miles back.  We left on December 22nd early in the morning and drove to Chicago. Bob had never been and part of this trip was about giving Bob some good traveling memories. Plus I scored a really good online deal at the Hyatt!

We drove through some sleet and freezing rain so I was glad to find our hotel before 1 that afternoon.  That also meant we had time to check out our room and do a little Chicago exploring.  Too bad the weather wasn't cooperative.  It was cold and true to its nickname, Chicago was the windy city making the cold much worse.  So all we really explored was the river across the street and the CVS around the corner.  While at CVS, I scored a cute hat that matched my coat and covered my ears so it wasn't a total loss.  We spent the rest of the evening finding a place to eat dinner and vegging out in our room.  We were in bed and asleep quite early due to my preference to drive early and during daylight hours (I don't mind driving in the dark as long as I know it will soon be light.).

We left our hotel by 5am.  Our valet gave me insider directions out of town that for once agreed with our GPS.  We drove into Indiana and some more sleety weather as the sun rose. However, as we traveled south, the rain/sleet stopped and the temps rose. We drove through Indiana and Kentucky and into Tennessee. We stopped in Nashville for lunch and it was a relief to me as the traffic there was INSANE! Not just busy but people driving crazily.  Of course after lunch we had to get back into the fray and drive on.  We drove into the Smokey Mountains and I about had a panic attack. I was relieved to reach our next stopping point in Chattanooga. What a beautiful city!  We stopped at the first place we saw with a AAA discount and got a good deal at Country Inns & Suites.  However, it was here that I learned we had to specify a NON-Smoking handicapped accessible room.  I also learned a hotel advertised as family friendly means you will hear kids screeching up and down the hall.  Thankfully that didn't last long but we were in bed early again due to our driving schedule.

The next day we didn't have to drive through any kind of weather other than sun and, as we drove further south, warmth.  We left Tennessee and entered Georgia and were to Atlanta just after sunrise.  Atlanta was certainly a shiny city.  I was worried about the traffic we'd incur but I needn't have worried.  We were in and out in record time.  However, Georgia was a long state to drive through.  Our GPS didn't offer me any information as to when we would FINALLY enter Florida so when we got to Valdosta, GA, I had to stop and see how much further to the border.  Turns out Valdosta is about the last city in Georgia before you hit the Florida border.  I happened to notice that many of the states we drove through had signs announcing the mileage to upcoming cities, but none of them outside their own state.  That was frustrating to me as a driver but I bought an atlas and got over it.

Something else I learned driving to Florida is that every "oldies" station now plays music that was popular when I was in high school.  However, when I was in high school, "oldies" stations played music that was popular when my parents were in high school. At the time, that music did seem old.  Now adays "oldies" music does NOT seem old.  Also, all of these stations call themselves either The Rock, The Fox, The River, or The Eagle. Does calling themselves something "earthy" sounding make them cooler or just trying to hard? It just makes me picture the graying, balding guy in the hot Ferrari.  Sigh.

Once we entered Florida we stopped a couple of times to get gas and ogle roadside tourist traps and their citrus.  The further south we went, the warmer it got.  It was nearly 80 by the time we reached my mom and dad's house in Central FL. Our car was filthy and covered with 3 days worth of salt, dirt, dust, and grime and we were so glad to have reached our destination.

As we traveled south towards my parents' retirement home in sunny Florida, I kept thinking about how Bob and I have been spending the Christmas holiday these past few years.  Our families celebrate the holiday on days other than the actual day because they all want to celebrate the actual day with their own families. Since we don't have kids, we've been taking Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and traveling.  Three years ago we got a hotel room in downtown Minneapolis for the holiday.  It was nice because we saw the last night of the Hollidazzle parade, toured the Macy's Christmas displays, and just experienced our downtown area at Christmas. Two years ago we spent the holiday at our favorite casino hotel.  Bob played Texas Hold'em while I went bowling and used the pool.  This year, we were driving to spend the holiday with my parents. It was nice to actually be with family again on the holiday. (Not that Bob isn't my family but we agree that Christmas seems kinda made for children and extended family.)